Bird, Yet No Bees

This is another B! Xclusive. A typical day in the life of B~wood.

Shhhh, program already in session. . .

Today I decided to take a walk for lunch and have some quality B~time. Hmmm, what shall I eat today? I’m in the heart of Downtown Atlanta, thus options are plentiful.

I think maybe I have a taste for Quizno’s, no maybe Burger King. Yeah that's it, a whopper with cheese, onion rings, bottled water (Dasani of course) an a apple pie on the side.

Oooh, wait a minute . . . do I smell dem’ Popeye’s biscuits?

Then again B, what about your six pack? Keep in mind, you been praying for a six pack for a while now.

Well damn-it B summer has already begun . . . hell a one pack with just have to suffice, with a little slab of love handles for good measure.

Nonetheless, I decided on a healthy, hardy Tuna sandwich from Subway.

Today is a misty Monday, it's 12:00 noon, 85 degrees, winds blowing at less than 1 mph, 73% humidity, gray cloudy skies, with the smell of rain in the atmosphere. Humph, with my new Lasik eyes, visibility is 10 miles.

Whoa lawd, my Go-Go gadget new 20/20 vision is something else. I be walking and out of nowhere, Shazammm, I can see a good strong print a mile away. I catch myself saying 10.3 inches, pick-it up.

I digress!

As I’m walking, I realize I need to just cease the moment and check out the atmosphere. It’s always good to check out your surroundings. I notice crack heads, birds, yet no bees.

And, then it dawned on me. Why in the hell do the hood pigeons look so ruff and stuff? I mean, damn did they have a hard life. They look all Dirrrty and Grimy lookin’. Feathers all plucked, bald spots, some even have a gangsta lean when they walk.

But, the ones out by where I live, just be chirping, and bobbing their heads with no worries. They even take an occasional dip in the local creek as if it’s their own local spa. Not to mention, their quite friendly too.

Hmmm, I wonder if the hood pigeons get all the hood chick pigeons? Are they considered OOOH SO HOTT in the bird kingdom? Or, do they discriminate and say that one over their is a pigeon head.

I mean I’m just wondering?

As I shared this story with my lunatic friends, they all responded with. . . B, seriously, for real, for real, your somethin’ special.

But I said that’s okay, because, all I can hear in my head was Michael Jackson singing. . . .


But you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we’re far apart
You’re always in my heart
But, you are not alone

MJ you’re everywhere, I swear you’re the best!

Bird, Yet No Bees