B~Wood Chronicles . . .: BEST MOVIE EVERRRRRRRR!!!!!

Fam,

How ya’ll doing today?

It’s Monday August 22, 2011 and I’m sitting at work just having the Monday blues . . . I’s tired ya’ll.

Well as you all know I am newly single.

Yes, I know B’wood is single . . . Hmm, that word doesn’t quite seem to fit with my swag does it?

Trust me I said the same thing.

Everything in my life has always been “We”, “We”, “We”.

What “We” going to do today?
What “We” going to eat for dinner?
Where are “We” going?

Lawd, I thought I was in an episode of Pinky and the Brain . . .

Gee, Brain, what do you want to do tonight?

The same thing we do every night, Pinky – try to take over the world!

NARF!

They’re Dinky, They’re Pinky and the Brain, Brain, Brain!!!

But, I digress . . .

Thus, as you can see it’s hard for me to rationalize the term “Me”.

However, I decided to get out of my depressive stupor and go to the movies solo this weekend.

SOLO People . . . DID YOU HEAR ME? . . . S to tha O-L-O!

OMFG, at 32-years young I have never, ever . . . ever, ever, been to a movie by myself.

CAN WE SAY LOSER!

However, it’s a new day so I decided to pull myself up by my bootstraps and get on with life. I was determined to head to the movies.

I decided to see “Friends With Benefits” starring Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis.

Friends With Benefits (Hmmm, now really B, do I really need that in my life), truly that’s way too complicated for me right now!

So as I walked into the AMC-24 Theater at 7:00 o’clock I said to myself , dayuum B is there really knowone here?

For a split second I looked up at the big screen and I could have swore the screen flashed

“HEY U . . . UR A SUPER-DUPER LOSER BRUH!”

Does AMC GOT JOKES??????

So as I sat there all by my lonesome, a young man came into the theater to finish sweeping up the debris and I politely asked, ummm, excuse me but do you think I’m going to be the only one here?

He would never chuckle and say, like dude you know it’s like 7:05 p.m. and the movie doesn’t start till 7:30.

Like, really did this teenager really make me feel like a ditz.

Okay, fam at that moment I so wanted to be telepathic, because if he said, “Who in the hell arrives at the movies like 30 mins early.com I would have shriveled up and died!

I so need to get it together!

So by 7:15 p.m. I popped in my mouth the last kernel of buttered popcorn, ate half my bag of Reese’s Pieces candy, and was slurping down the last of my Lipton raspberry ice tea.

Well, gee this was a SHABANG!

As 7:30 was approaching more people were arriving . . . Whoa, thank ya LAWD . . . That was a close one.

5 seconds later I said . . . got dayuum, you people.

DOES EVERYONE HAVE TO BE COUPLED-UP?

AS IF!!!!!

Oh, wait this is a “chick flick”.

Then out of nowhere this twenty-somethin’ cute, perky, white chick sat one seat away from me, and smiled.

I said to myself G’rl . . . Puhleeeze, don’t be crazy!

She would never lean over and say Hi. I somewhat startled, looked around, and said to myself OMFG is she talkin’ to me?

I would never respond back with a “Hi” in a light soprano as if I had a 5-octave vocal range like Mariah Carey!

Hell, I think it even scared her!

She said, I hear this is really a great movie and since none of my friends were available I decided to come alone. (okay g’rl at this point little did she know she was my date in my head and I so wanted to sit next to her for the next two hours just so it wouldn’t appear that I was here alone), but I smiled and said, yeah I heard this is a great movie too.

As the movie began, my nerves calmed down, and before long, I literally was LAUGHING OUT LOUD.

My newfound friend would never look at me, burst out laughing, and say did you see that?

It was too adorable; as if we were the Oreo version of Will & Grace . . . I was the chocolate one of course!

Needless to say, the movie was the BEST MOVIE EVER!!!!!!!

I so needed to get out the house, and just laugh my head off, and feel all sappy afterwards because I so love relationship movies.

So Justin & Mila just in case you catch wind of my blog and read this posting, thank you for putting a smile on my face.