Fam’ today is June 11, 2010 and at 4:00 a.m. this morning I think I ran into a bit of a quagmire, predicament, dilemma or pickle of sorts.
Now at 4:00 a.m. I know, ya’ll sayin. . . What in the hell can possibly be going on in B’wood’s world that early in the morning.
Trust me . . . I live in my head . . . So you will be surprised.
So step into my world . . .
Now just like clockwork my alarm went off and I awoke to the sounds of Monica – ‘Everything to Me’ playing in the background.
Ironically, that song was befitting as I glanced over to my other half curled up looking so peaceful and sound asleep as if he had no care in the world.
Immediately, I turned off the alarm so not to disturb him and began to start my morning.
I walked into the bathroom, turned on the shower, unlocked the cage so my lil man Maxi aka Maxwell could get his morning stretch and stepped into the warm spa like shower, where the steam seemed to immediately moisten my body before I was even doused by the warm water.
Now B’wood loves a good shower . . . It’s Friday . . . Pay Day . . . And, I made up in my mind I was having a DAMN GOOD Day!
As I finished washing up . . . I rinsed off one last time . . . Grabbed my softer side of Sears 100% cotton towel and began to dry off.
Ahhhh, yes. . . Feelin’ . . . Ooh so Fresh and Clean . . . Clean
I proceeded to sit on the bathroom floor and moisturize my body with 100 % pure Shea Butter as if I was back in the motherland.
Now as I sat on the floor, Maxi sat directly in front of me. Now, I thought to myself, hmmm are you checkin’ me out in all my nakedness. Body just-ah glisten’ . . . Hell, I said Maxi am I turning you on or better yet, dayuumm am I turning my own self on?
He would never tilt his head, as if to say RUH-ROO . . . However, to my dismay this damn NEGRO was hard as a rock. His manhood was at attention playing peek-a-boo and was truly making itself known to me this morning.
Sorry Bruh . . . I can't help ya!
However, in my nakedness somehow I don’t think I was the one turning him on.
Was it time to face every parent’s nightmare?
Did Maxi and I have to discuss the Bird’s and the Bee’s?
Was I even prepared?
Well, I started off by sayin’ see look, I have that problem too in the morning . . . JUST BRICK HARD . . . so you don’t have to feel ashamed.
But, I was the one ashamed; his 1st birthday is tomorrow June 12, 2010 which is equivalent of 7 human years. SO YEAH, he was basically already a teenager and I failed him.
His hormones are raging, and he‘s tired of frolicking around the house, he wants to dip into that Wet-Wet . . . PUDDING POP . . . Pounce that ASS!
Not to mention he’s so Gangsta when he attacks his chew toys, so I know he’s got that aggressive sex drive from me, but, how could I be so oblivious to his needs?
DAYUUUMMM - IT . . . I failed Parenting 101!
I thought maybe if I could give him a treat that would make amends . . . However, that Sh*T was still HARD . . . and clearly, he wasn’t going for it.
Side Bar ~ So fudge . . . This weekend, I need to find a Doggie Stripper's Club . . . Because, clearly a Jump-Off is in order.
He’s a Man now and I need to introduce him properly. . . Hmmm, do I need to ask if he has an acquired taste for both sexes?
Gee . . . this is so Hard . . . (Ooops, Hard needs to stay out of my vocabulary right about now).
Doggie Style Anyone?
No comments:
Post a Comment