BUSS IT WIDE OPEN!

Bust dat, bust it wide open ... den I tell her bring it back
Bust dat, bust it wide open ... den I tell her bring it back
Bust dat, bust it wide open ... den I tell her bring it back

WHOA, LAWD . . . that sound ooh so NASTY!

Anywho,

Let me tell ya’ll a story about me in my hey day . . . You know the thirty-somethin’ B wouldn’t do this, but, the twenty somethin’ B was Somethin' Turrrible.

I hated errrbody especially D.C. Locals!

(Sorrr-e, but I got Luv for D.C. now, but back in the day... DAYUUMMM YA'LL IRK ME!)

Okay, check it . . . This is how it all went down

Me and my Girlfriend aka wifey was attending Howard University, and I was preparing this presentation for class. So we went to Kinko’s (now known as FedEx Office) to make posters and have some on point slides for our presentation. We had the same major, so we were in all the same classes and basically was inseparable.

So my wifey was my partner on this project.

So we decided to drive to the "clear" people area because you know . . . Howard was in the hood and the near by Kinko’s shut down when the street lights came on . . .

YEP . . . SHO' NUFF DID . . . Just a mess!

So we went to the location that was right near the Washington D.C. ZOO.

Back in the day ... this Kinko's location use to stay open 24 hours, so all us Negroes were in their getting things done at the last damn minute.

Lawd, I remember this like it was yesterday.

So yeah, me being a typical College student was madd hungry and needed a lil late night snack-e-snack. So over towards my dorm was a 24 hr drive thru Wendy’s.

Now we pulled up in her blue Dodge Neon with Louisiana tags LBN019 (With means Liqua Blue Neon and the day of her birthday).

So yeah, now Unidastazovamerikaliqua (United States of America Liqua) is from New Orleans (Third Ward) and her ghetto momma self sounding like Toya from Tiny and Toya reality show . . .

Hollers Out LOUD AS SH*T . . . Ummm, AY-BAY-BAY. . . Let me have umm-ur–ruh, # 3, NO TOMATOES PUH-LEEEZZEE, and a HI-C ORANG-GGG-JAH DRANK!

HEIFER SOUNDING A MESS . . . and in retrospect, I said YES . . .I GOT ME A DOWN SOUTH CREOLE GHETTO MOMMA with Green/Gray colored eyes!

YEP SHO’ NUFF DO . . . (Lawd, I have so grown).

So yeah . . . Me being from Cali said . . Well yes, I would like to have a number # 3 with cheese and a Lipton Sweet Tea, Please.

WHY THIS D.C. BAMA RESPONDS BACK AND SAYS . . . Umm, What? . . . Can you speak up Puhleeezze.

Sure . . . See me being all calm and demure said a # 3 . . . Please, with cheese and a LIPTON SWEET TEA.

UUUMMMM, LIKE FOR REAL THOUGH . . What the hell you ordering? U NEED TO SPEAK INTO THE MICROPHONE!

See now at this point . . . The SOUTH CENTRAL, Los Angeles B, dun’ came out and SHAJAMMM!!!!!!

(ARRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!)
(these is me turning into the Incredible Hulk!)


I said a GOT DAMN # 3 with CHEESE and A SWEET TEA.


She would never say . . .

YOU SAID U WANT A Orange HI-C TOO, and NO CHEESE ON YOUR # 3


MUTHA F**KA!

I said hell naw, and drove up to the window, and low and behold I see D.C.'s Finest . . . Bon' Qui Qui staring at me, with her greasy hair covering her left eye.

(WHY DEM' D.C. LOCAL G'RL’s think they need all that damn grease .. . thinkin’ it’s giving their hair a healthy shine . . . NO MA'AM . . . THAT MESS LOOK’s MESSY AND OILY AS HELL)!

Then she replies, did you really just roll up on me like that?

So my G'rl Unidastazovamerikaliqua, says, ooh hell naw . . . calm down OG!

See OG is what they use to call me . . . Big B the OG from Cali. My favorite hat was a Black OG hat from the movie (Original Gangsta) . . . Lawd, why I still run into classmates and they would never still remember that crap.

Anywho,

So I said REALLY . . . FOR REAL!

My order better be right. I’s tired, I have class in a few hours, it’s 1:45 in the GOT DAMN MORNING and I still have not put this presentation together.

IT’S NOT A GAME!

AND, MY FRIES BETTAH BE HOTT . . . DAMN IT . . . I mean HOTT LIKE MUTHA FU**IN FIRE.


Why, this heifer said my total and you know how the drive thru window doors automatically close this tramp allowed the doors to close on my hand as she took my twenty.

DO U KNOW I BUSS IT WIDE OPEN . . . BUSS IT, BUSS IT . . . WIDE OPEN.

I said TRIX I WOULD BEAT YO A** as I snatched that G’rl shirt and damn near pulled her thru the drive thru window.

Why, Unidastazovamerikaliqua is yelling as this heifer is hanging out the window, damn near lookin like the DUKES OF HAZARDS tryin to get in the BLUE NEON.

You know I snatched my Money, and my food, and said I ain’t paying for ~ish.

NOW WHERE MY DAMN KETCHUP!


WHOA, LAWD, I’m so glad . . . I been Blessed, and DUNKED with the HOLY WATER.

Till this day, I still hate that damn WENDY’s in D.C.


But, why was that the best burger though!

SideBar ~ *** DISCLAIMER *** Now you know B'wood did a switch-ah-roo with the names to protect the innocent. My ex-G'rl ain't gonna be calling me, sayin' negro did you really use my real name . . . I'm just sayin'!

BUSS IT WIDE OPEN!