Scoot Yo Ass...

Now let me ask for forgiveness now before I make this comment. . . . Lawd, please forgive me, that's it - AMEN!

Now, I was hungry this morning. I woke up hungry, had an attitude this morning because I was hungry, had no patience this morning because I was hungry. Morning Wood wasn't even feeling eager nor looking strong and steady, all due to hunger. It was a sad picture to see Big man just chillin, layin on his side saying feed me. I tell ya, today I just feel off kilter.

Nonetheless, I said maybe I will feel better, with a taste of my signature warm Orange & Spice Herbal Tea, a fluffy biscuit, hot grits and a Yogurt Parfait with strawberries to jump start my morning.

As usual I stepped into the foyer and press the down arrow for the elevator.

I patiently wait for the amber light to appear by my lonesome. Then, DING! I look to the left. I look to the right. And I proceed with caution before I press the ground floor. Then just before the doors began to close, I hear a soft tone say hold the elevator please. So I being a gentleman said sure, never peeping around the corner to see who it is.

1 minute pass, 2 minute pass. Well, damn is this grand central station, where is she walking from. So I said, are you still coming before I peeped out the elevator. Why ya'll the lady was in her Power Wheel Chair/Scooter. You know the little scooter that you see Granny leaning to the side in at the grocery store.

Me not thinking before I spoke. Said, well damn, you on wheels, COM' ON HERE WOMEN! (Side Bar – Lawd, being around all these cuntra' BAMA people is clearly taking its toll). She said I'm stuck I think theirs a short in my battery. Just as ignorant as I want to be, I said their ain't no back-up! Bruh, ain't no mechanic or anything but I thought to myself if she don't roll her a** in here, so I CAN EAT!

Man, when I saw that thing jerk, and act like it was switching into second gear, I said, well hell is it a stick, because clearly you need a new clutch.

She said if you don't leave me alone and I'm thinkin’ to myself, you and your Hoverground Rear Wheel Drive Elite edition needs to get tha hell out my way!

Scoot Yo Ass...