B~Wood Chronicles . . .: November 2009

Monday, November 30, 2009

Power Outage Fo Yo A$$!

See this is some Bull-ish. . .

It’s November 30, 2009, 11:21 a.m. and why the power just went out in my building!

Now first and foremost, I don’t want to be at work anyway. But, then again a brotha is grateful he does have a J-O-B, however, damn-it not today.

I was working so diligent on this notice and my monthly reports . . . then SHAJAMM . . . my screen goes blank and looks pitch black.

I just lost all composure and hollered . . . HELL NAW!!!!

Now ordinarily Black is my favorite color, but, pure Black and no writing on my screen was not complimenting my “be a good worker swag” right about now.

I was on page three, all in my work groove, and my dumb a** didn’t click file SAVE!

Lawd, if AUTO-RECOVERY kicks in….. WHOA NELLY. . . I will do a

HOLLA-LU-JUS

praise right here at work LAWD!

Now, a kidd works for the good ol’ government, and ya’ll know our system is old and out-dated. But, haven’t they heard of power generators?

I mean dang JEEDA! Is that too much to ask?

“Attention, Attention, our system may be down for an hour or more.”

Hmm, alrighty then, well I guess a two-hour lunch break will suite me just fine today.

Ummm, Bookie, are you down for a noon-time, sweaty, quickie?

Answer your phone, or answer my text, I need some stress relief goody, goody!

Side Bar: (See Bookie look at me all moist and stuff, you know that turns you on!)

My Cootie-Patootie!

My favorite lil’ man Jaden Christopher Syre Smith, youngest son of the hottest man in Hollywood, Will Smith with be staring in the remake of “The Karate Kid” costarring martial artist extraordinaire Jackie Chan.

"The Karate Kid" is expected to hit theaters June 11, 2010.

Jaden is only eleven years old and stole my heart when he played Christopher in the 2006 movie “The Pursuit of Happyness.”

“He along with his sister Willow Smith are youth ambassadors for project Zambia along in conjunction with the Hasbro Corporation-which helps children orphaned by AIDS in Africa.”

This heart-throb in the making definitely is on the right path to stardom!

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Tiger . . . She was gonna Whoop That ASS!

Mr. Woods issues a statement:

“This is a private matter and I want to keep it that way,” Woods said. “Although I understand there is curiosity, the many false, unfounded and malicious rumors that are currently circulating about my family and me are irresponsible. …

“I appreciate all the concern and well wishes that we have received,” the statement concluded. “But, I would also ask for some understanding that my family and I deserve some privacy no matter how intrusive some people can be.”

Friday, November 27, 2009

Another Sex Tape - NUH-HUH, I'm Telling MOMMA!

"Sources say Busta Rhymes is having some major financial issues and is maxing out credit cards left and right. As if being broke isn’t enough, Busta also has an alleged sex tape with a tranny floating around."

Side Bar ~ Too many peeps know about your DL excursions. They, all can't be lies!

I Digress. . .

"An insider says that Busta is living on his mom’s credit cards and doing any show he can get now. His credit card most recently got declined at a 5 star hotel, some months back when he was checking in.

Debt isn’t his only problem; Busta also has about 6-7 kids. A source says he doesn’t like to use condoms despite the fact that he has herpes which he doesn’t disclose up front or at all. Now, there is a sex tape floating around with him and a well-known tranny. He is on the top.

Seeing how we’ve never seen Busta in a real relationship at all since he’s been on the scene, there may be some truth to this one."

Oh, and for the record I sho-nuff hope Busta lays it down. I swear I wanna see this session.

So Sorr-E, it's the freak in me!

New Video Trey Songz - LOL :) Smiley Face

IT LOOKS KIND OF CHEAP, BUT I GET IT

Before He Was BIG, BIG, SUPER-SIZED BIG PUN

Now me personally wasn't a BIG Pun fan . . . Now don't get me wrong he was a hottie in his hey-day, but, after I saw him beat his wife on video I was done!

Cool points just went right out the window!

Thanksgiving Beyonce Special

A Good Deed, INDEED!

The word is out about Mr. Shaquille Rashaun O'Neal.

"Mr. 7 feet 1 inch, 325 pounds softy paid for the funeral of a 5-year-old North Carolina girl after being moved by national news coverage of the case of Shaniya Davis, who police say was kidnapped and killed.

The Cleveland Cavaliers player was touched by the stories he saw and got in touch with the family to see what he could do to help, a spokeswoman for O’Neal said Thursday. More than 2,000 people attended the girl’s funeral Sunday. Her body was found Nov. 16 beside a rural road. Her mother, Antoinette Davis, who had reported the child missing six days earlier, is charged with human trafficking and child abuse involving prostitution. Mario McNeill is charged with murder, rape and kidnapping in the case.

I was sitting at home watching it on the news and the story brought a tear to my eye, O’Neal told The Cleveland Plain Dealer newspaper. Corey Breece, of Rogers and Breece Funeral Home, which handled the service, declined to tell the Fayetteville Observer newspaper how much it cost but added that a child’s funeral averages around $4,500.

A man who answered the phone at the funeral home Thursday told the Associated Press that only the owner could comment and that he was away. Shaniya Davis’ father, Bradley Lockhart, and his family had set up a trust fund in memory of Shaniya to help raise money to pay for the funeral. Lockhart was not available to talk Thursday, said a man who answered the phone at his home."

Mr. O'Neal, thanks for rising to the occassion. You indeed are a big man with a even bigger heart!

Thursday, November 26, 2009

When Are You Too Old To Hook Up?

THIS IS BEFORE I MET MY BF WHO IS FROM NEW YORK.

A good friend (let's name him James) of mind told me that I am getting too old to be hooking-up with guys. I just turned 30 at that time and he told me that I should be in the "find a husband" mode.

I asked him, "Why do you think I'm too old?"

He believes that no good man would want a barfly over the age of 30. A good man wants another good man. Now, mind you that James is from the South, so he has weird and ancient views of morals and virtue. On the other hand I'm from the West Coast so we don't always see eye to eye on things.

I told him that a good man would accept everything about me if he is really into me. But my friend disagrees with me; he still thinks if your whoring it out after 30, you're damaged.

I can't really explain his logic, plenty of single men over 30 have active sex lives and they are not damaged. I just don't get why he's holding on to this foolishness. If you like a guy and the mood is right, there's nothing wrong with a little "pudding tasting". That's 2 grown men making a decision that is usually good for the both of them (sometimes).

The fact that you are considered "damaged" is crazy. I told James that he should lighten up plenty of guys and girls would still like me. I told him I still have my standards, but at the same time I wanna have a little fun too.

I don't think I am damage at the age of 31. What do you guys think??

THIS IS AT THE GYM

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

It's Family Time, Ya'll!

Its Family Day Tomorrow Ya’ll . . .

Well B~wood doesn’t have a large group of friends, or a close knit family but, whoever, your, crew, peeps, clique, dawgs, familia, posse, hommies, *itches, or homeslice is, I hope you guys make it special.

Thanksgiving 09’ - Man, I can't believe I'm still here.

DL Style

I know this is a touchy subject, but I'm just curious.

The Down Low or DL notion has always bothered me. Ever since J.L. King blasted its existence on Oprah, it has become one of our biggest burdens to bear.

But sometimes...I feel that the 'Down Low' notion is welcomed or romanticized in our community. There are books, shows and sometimes parties encouraging the 'hotness' of DL men. I understand the allure of the issue, but I don't think we should be placing DL men as viable options for a mate.

Maybe I'm off here, but I have to ask...Do we romanticize the 'Down Low'?

I would love to hear y'all thoughts.

Was His Performance Too Much?

Adam Lambert made a statement on Sunday at the American Music Awards that would be unforgettable. Madonna and Britney Spears kissed and Diana Ross jiggled Lil Kim's breast then Justin Timberlake exposed Janet Jackson's breast at the 2004 Super Bowl. Since MTV doesn't show any of Janet's video's and Justin throwing her under the bus and FCC was going to fined her. I wonder if ABC is going to do anything to Adam Lambert after his performance on the AMA's.

Another Group Leaves Bad Boy

Diddy's stream of band fallouts is continuing as Day 26 formally announces that they've left his Bad Boy record label. While Diddy embarks on new territory with his recent signing to Interscope, his brain child of Quanell, Willie, Brian and Mike will do the same. The group has moved from Diddy's emblem to Atlantic Records. By doing so, hopefully they'll be able to salvage their career before their demise a la Danity Kane.

While their days with Bad Boy were numbered from the start, Willie is adamant that there's no bad blood between the group and the powers that be. He told TheBoombox,

“Bad Boy is always our family, but we're with Atlantic right now…we really want to get people focused on the artistry, on the music. I think a lot of people lost it with the entertainment of the show. So now, we really want to show people what we're all about, that we do our thing whether it's on stage, in the studio, writing and producing -- we do it all.”

The group isn't looking to put an album out until sometime next year, but in the meantime, ladies can invest in their women's shoe line. Released in September, Eight2Six shoes coincided with the groups single, “Your Heels.” The line's first product was the “Swagga Heel” featured in three different colors and priced at $99.99.

Am I the only one that's never heard of these shoes?!

No? Didn't think so….

It's the Diddy curse I'm telling you! I DO NOT want to work for Diddy!

Keyshia Cole Knocked Up?

Keyshia Cole was spotted in Cleveland with her boyfriend Cleveland Cavalier Daniel “Boobie” Gibson for a charity event. She was spotted rocking a baby bump and according to sources, she was unmistakably about 7 months pregnant. Keyshia denied pregnancy rumors back in September.

Ron Artest A Model?

It ain't trickin' if you got it and clearly Ron Artest got it to waste. . . For reasons unknown, new Lakers forward Ron Artest decided to set up his own photo shoot — with actress/model/vigilante Natalin Avci.

According to Jimmy Traina, the photos weren’t scheduled to run anywhere, but, well, here they are. I have been told that the shoot cost over $8,000 … but hey he got it.. Here are some pics…